“Flawed” Love

by: Esperanza Cherry


My head is pounding, it’s like I can hear and feel my heart beating in my head. My eyes are heavy as I open them to see the rising sun through my bedroom window; a sight I thought I would consider beautiful but instead I dread the blended color of reds and orange rising up to kiss the sky. The colors are a reminder that my time for sleep has ended even though it never really started. I guess my baby Milena takes the rising sun as a special message to her that her shift for keeping her mother up with her cries to rock her, nurse her and change her are now over and she stretches her arms above her head like a marathon runner through the finish line and slips into a peaceful slumber.

Just like clock work my toddler calls out my name alerting me that her shift has begun. Just as I start rubbing my eyes and preparing my mind to get up to face the new day, my husband lifts himself up from our comfortable bed and responds to her calls. I rest my tired eyes and smile to the lovely sound of my husband whispering to my daughter “ let’s go make breakfast, Mommy is tired and needs to sleep. ”

It is something as simple as knowing that I could use more rest and taking control of a situation to look out for me that makes me fall in love with my husband over and over again. Just the fact that my husband was considerate enough to use hushed tones to speak to my daughter was enough for me to feel loved by him. This was something very meaningful to me but it was only meaningful because I chose to make an effort to notice and appreciate the kindness in my husband.

In this situation, my heart could have been in a different place. Instead of feeling blessed by him I could have thought things like “ It’s about time he got up” or “ took him long enough” or I could have simply taken my opportunity for sleep and not have given it any thought at all.
Many times in marriage it can be so easy to get caught up in the world’s lies that tell me “he has to do this or that ” or “it’s his job to do this…”; that we as wives begin to take for granted the things our husbands do for us, we become ungrateful. Expecting it be part of our husband’s obligation to do things like throw out the garbage, cut the grass, or get the kids does not allow us to be thankful for the things they do for us, whether it be big or small. We can begin
to miss all of the ways our husbands bless us and then sadly, the lack of gratitude can becomes reciprocal. If we never point out and value the efforts in our husbands, it becomes easier for them to do the same to us as wives.

In my marriage it has been a real blessing to me to hear my husband thank me for washing the dishes every single time that I wash them. He does this because he knows I absolutely hate doing them but it brings me joy to do them when I know he appreciates me. I do the same for him, when he leaves for work in the morning I pray with him and thank him for working so hard and providing for our family, because I know he would much rather be spending time playing with our children. I sometimes send him a text or an e-mail and tell him I appreciate his hard work and I can’t wait for him to come home. There maybe times where I may not say the actual words “thank you” but I always make an effort to welcome a spirit of gratitude in my heart so I may notice even the small things. Even just having this attitude of thankfulness towards my husband is something that he is able to notice and blesses both him and our marriage as a whole.
Let’s be a great support to our husbands and make our best effort to never take them for granted. Let’s have a spirit of appreciation towards the smallest and greatest things they do alike. We are blessed to have them and we want to let them know that they are loved and reminding them consistently that we are immensely thankful for all they do always.