Tag Archives: mothers

911…Who’s Saving You?

If your 2017 has been anything like mine, I ran out of the year like a woman with her hair on fire. Now that the year has gotten underway, I don’t know about you, but I am living my BEST life this year! What is the BEST life you say? Your best life is living the life that God has for you. Your best life is the life without and limits that we often place on ourselves because of our past.

As women we are the first ones up in the morning, and the last ones to lay down. By the time we get to ourselves we have nothing left! It would be great if we could wake up tomorrow and already living where we want to live, have the things that we want to have and already making the moves we’ve promised ourselves we would make.

It takes WORK to live your best life! In order to live your best life, you will need a YES, a NO, and a RIGHT NOW. You need to say YES to God’s will for your life! This will be the hardest part. If you can do this, the rest will be easy. When you say yes to God you are openly acknowledging that his will is what’s best for you. You are getting out of the driver’s seat. Ultimately, you are allowing God to lead you and relinquishing your life over to him and trusting that he will get you where you have to go.

You need to say YES to yourself. Saying yes means that you are pulling yourself from the back burner and moving your desires, ideas, hopes and dreams to the front. You are making yourself a priority. Now I know, you have children, maybe grandchildren, and a husband. But let’s put our own oxygen mask on before you worry about putting on someone else’s.

After you have said YES to God and YES to yourself you need to say NO. To who? TO EVERYONE ELSE! We have to learn to say no to the responsibilities and obligations that others try to pass on to us. No, I can’t go to your event. No, I can’t take you to the store. I’m helping ME! Don’t deny yourself so you can feel better about yourself. Now that doesn’t mean we should be rude, offensive, or even dismissive to others. But we should look at the ratio of time we give others in comparison to the time we spend on ourselves. If we spend all of our time helping someone else with their dream when will we have the time, passion, patience or resources to see our dream into fruition?

Once we’ve gotten those out of the way then we can get to work. When will we write out our dreams and goals: RIGHT NOW. When will we put what God told us to do into practice: RIGHT NOW. When will we start the business plan: RIGHT NOW. it won’t happen overnight. It takes time, energy, effort, and patience. If you don’t live your life, it won’t get lived because no one else can live it for you. If you’re scared, so what; do it anyway. Feel like it’s too big, great. It probably is too big and that’s why you will need God’s help. How will you do it? Glad you asked, let me tell you:

 

  1. Spend time in prayer and ask God what his will is for you. When he tells you, write it down.
  2. Pray daily over the plan he gave you for your life. Seek him for how and when.
  3. Give yourself deadlines, this will help you stay on task.
  4. Pray about who you should and shouldn’t share your plans with, some will be encouragers and some will be investors. But be careful of those that are leeches, they only want to siphon the good and leave you with the rest.

It’s your time! 2018 is your year to live! You will love your family more, serve your church more, and love yourself more!

Corner Prayer:

Lord, thank you for bringing me into a new year! Thank you for what you have for me this year. Lord, help me to let go of the things that held me back, disappointed me, or didn’t go my way last year. Lord, renew my passion for the things that you promised me. Help me to seek you in a new way so that I can live my best life. The abundant life that Jesus came to give me. Help me to be a better mother, a better wife, and a better kingdom woman. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Raising Friendlies

by: Esperanza Cherry

 

As parents we try to raise kind and loving children and in return we also want to see our children treated with love and kindness. It breaks our heart to see our children being mistreated or abused. We so quickly turn into Momma Bear to defend our child but do we protect the precious children of others with the same passion from our own kids? Are we more concerned that others are good friends to our children than we are about our children being good friends to them?

So the question is, why isn’t our child’s lack of being a good friend being acknowledged? Maybe the negative behaviors aren’t properly addressed because we think it’s just a phase that will be grown out of instead of developed. It is also possible we don’t see our child’s behavior as “that bad.” Whatever the reason may be, we do our children a great disservice in not addressing their heart.

Here are some ways to help your child be the type of friend you would want them to have:

1) Create a zero tolerance Approach
For some things be sure to create a zero tolerance rule and stick to it each and every time. If you don’t want your child to be hit by other kids, then be the first to immediately take your child out of playtime when you see them hurt another child. Be sure to give them the appropriate discipline for their action and discuss with them why they are receiving this consequence. Remind them that this action is never acceptable and it will always be responded with a consequence. You would want the parents of your child’s friend to respond with the same care.

2) Help create a sincere heart
In a child’s mind it’s hard for them to see past their own needs and wants. They are living in an “it’s all about me” world. It is our job to help them see the rest of the population in that world. Let’s help our child be the caring friend we want them to have. Teach your child to rejoice about the celebrations in their friend’s lives. If their friend is excited to show your child their new shoes, teach your child to rejoice with their friend and take a sincere interest.
Another way to help your child escape the “It’s all about me” world is to help train your child to engage in conversations by asking about the other person and how they are doing and feeling without turning the conversation back on them. Allow opportunities for your child to care completely about the emotions and concerns of others.

3) Avoid the master manipulator
Children are observant and can learn the right words and actions to take to get themselves out of trouble. Remember that the goal is to do our part in raising a kind and loving child, this means that though we may want to believe the “I’m sorry mom” and let it go with a simple apology it must sometimes come with a consequence. Not doing this teaches them that saying just those words allows them to act selfishly and do what they want without repercussion. Be sure your child understands that being sorry means they feel sorrow and regret for how they hurt their friend, it’s not just a statement to get out of trouble. This is your opportunity to teach your child empathy. When your child says sorry even with an insincere heart, be sure to thank your child for saying the words but that their action still means there is a consequence. It is an important life lesson that they will have to learn, you can’t just say sorry and avoid the consequence.

It is important for us, as parents, to love our children enough to help hold them accountable for their actions and help them to act out of a sincere heart to love, feel remorse and empathize with their friends. Let’s help develop our children to be the kind of friends we long for them to have.